From A Railway Carriage...

An hour and a half later than expected, the train was finally slowing down, pulling into the last stop; my stop, "Home"! As everyone tugged at the luggage they had stowed away and prepared to alight, I peered out the glazed window of my coach. There I saw them, lining the entire stretch of the platform (no exaggeration there mind you); the "Men in Red". These were no officials with red blazers, but your common Indian porters or 'coolies' donned in their red shirts and some in matching turbans, sitting on their haunches and waiting eagerly for the coach doors to be thrown open. I was traveling light so I wasn't going to avail of their services. However it got me thinking as to the different types of services that we have in our country and we tend to take for granted.

For instance, the domestic help who toils with chores in almost every house each day, for some even a cook to take care of the kitchen, the person who dutifully picks up your clothes each week and returns them all neatly ironed, the house keeping staff at work - who stock the pantry, ensure all our workstations are dusted each night, make the floors sparkle every morning and coming back to the railways, our coolies(some of then so frail) hauling all that luggage to make a living, the linesman who walks the length of tracks for several miles in each direction to inspect them... I could keep going on this way and yet miss so many people who we don't see and yet play vital roles in keeping the wheels of our society moving. The whole point of this thought was is there 'Dignity of Labor' out here? Having personally seen the kind of treatment meted to some of the aforementioned people, I am afraid to answer that!

I distinctly remember my first day back in the office. I happened to get in early and some of the house-keeping staff were still at some of their regular morning duties. Two men were cleaning the glass door to my wing and seeing me arrive they were quickly trying to get their equipment out of the way to not inconvenience me. Being in no hurry, I urged them to finish what they were doing while I watched. As soon as the job was completed, one of them held open the door for me. I thanked him as I passed by and did not miss the beaming smile he shot back at me! I have normally noticed the house-keeping staff to be quite shy.

A few days later as I was filling my morning cup of tea in the pantry I noticed one of the house-keeping staff come up behind me. I turned to face him and was greeted with a familiar smile and an enthusiastic 'Good Morning Sir'. A little surprised I returned the greeting instantly recognizing him as the same guy who held the door open. I wondered; did that recognition the other morning make his day? Maybe or maybe not! Either way I guess he felt accepted. His greetings and of some others have become ritual now. I think to myself that it doesn't take all that much to show courtesy and make a person feel important then. At least that is a start to showing some dignity of labor, right? Or should people wait until they realize that such services are luxuries outside this country? Oh and another qualm I have – being called ‘Sir’ by people twice my age :)

My Country's Apathy

When I first landed in the United States, my first observation was of the courtesy extended to me not just by people I interacted with but by just about everybody on the street. As I settled in I also heard from all Americans about how friendly Indian people were. Now well yes I could accept that Indians in general are extremely hospitable people but in my opinion this hospitality only came to the fore in personal interaction. The society at large when in public were caught up in their own microcosms, courtesy being the last thing on each person's mind.

Now that I am back in India, I wanted to observe for myself if perhaps I had somehow missed something! But my opinion still largely remains unchanged. At least I did not have to wonder for long why foreigners thought otherwise. As soon as we had disembarked from our flight and awaited the customary immigration check, we fell into the separate lines for Indians, Foreign Nationals and Diplomats. My mind rewound to the day I had entered the United States. I had observed the citizens breezing past the immigration desk while the rest of us had our documents scrutinized as per procedure. I smiled to myself thinking today the tables would be turned. But was I in for a surprise when I noticed how easily foreigners went by greeted by such amiable smiles while the rest of trudged along slowly hoping it would be over soon. My 'Hello' fell on deaf ears and my smile was met with as straight a face I had seen and my 'Thanks' just wafted off in the wind. I might have ignored it thinking perhaps the guy was having a bad day. But the treatment meted out to my other countrymen at the 'Indian' counters didn't seem any different. I brushed the thought aside though as foremost on my mind of course was reuniting with my family.

It has been a week now and as much as I had prepared myself to not compare my country with the one I left I cannot but make certain observations. After all I question not the governance or the infrastructure or any other entity that may distinguish a developed nation from a developing one. Rather I question certain behaviour and the most basic manner of conduct. This past week I have found myself yielding to confused pedestrians, halting at imaginary stop signs, sticking inside solid median lines, opening doors to ungrateful passersby, disposing trash in a trash can at a public place - all actions that seemed to be a lost cause amidst the chaos and nonchalance. Another annoying thing I noted is that commuters seem to have their fingers glued to their vehicle's horns. It appears that nobody even seems to remember why horns were made for, so they stick to using it all the time! Not that driving was already any enjoyable what with the high temperatures, pollution and volume of traffic! I guess all my frustrations surfaced after I saw this movie "Lage Raho Munna Bhai". I went to the movie thinking that it will just be a good entertainer but I was pleasantly surprised at the refreshing story. I am not really a great fan of Gandhi but I will hand it to him that he was someone who was able to take popular religious ideology and apply it in action, thereby setting a good example to his countrymen. Yet the zealousness of his followers at the time seems to have been lost on successive generations. Or perhaps they just needed him to secure independence and then conveniently forgot him!

I feel sorry that I lose my patience when I look around. What irks me is that when people from my country travel outside, they just know how to conduct themselves so perfectly and the same so-called educated people join the ranks of everyone else when they are back home! If no one makes an effort, how can anyone be expected to change? We have no dearth of people who have travelled the world. If then you know how to do in Rome as the Romans do, why can't you bring Rome home?

Life is a Rollercoaster ride...

...and with sharp turns too! Yeah that has been the case with mine atleast as I have observed over the last 3 years or so. From the south of India to the North of the USA and just when I thought I ll get a brief break to return home, I am headed onward now to the south of the USA. It seems that it happens almost always when I am just settling in and begin to think that I am on a smooth course. Do you want to see a timeline? Ok. Here we go...

Turn 1: Rewind 3 years back to the Summer of 2003. Its been two years now since I have been aiming to land an admit for my Masters in the US of A. Everything seemed to be going alrite - not perfect but yet fine. I think I have applied just right. And then bang! My first two rejects in quick succession! You would think I 'd be left demoralized. I still keep the faith. I am yet to hear from my favoured university. Then I get an admit from some place else and then the reject I was dreading to get. All my dreams seem to be falling apart. I need to decide and decide fast...Do I just go ahead and take a chance with the couple ones that I got? Would it be worth it? I decide against it; the financial burden would just be too much to lay on dad. I am still unsure though as I attend interviews and take technical tests in search of my first job. I am completely unprepared. I had never imagined I would start working right after college. I just hadn't considered it.

Turn 2: July 14th 2003: Servion Global Solutions,Chennai. After a week of tests, interviews and a group discussion, I am in! Two months had passed since I had made my decision. Now if work was what I had to do, then I was going to do it well. Despite being a small organization it was a fun place to begin. Barely a couple of months later I found myself in Bangalore. My first assignment at a client's site. Thanks to my mentor it turns out to a fun learning experience. It has been five months now with Servion and I am enjoying myself, when I get an interview call from Infosys. I am confused. I was doing ok. Why now? I take it up anyways and land the job too. Barely days away from the end of my probation I need to decide between two jobs. A litte coaxing and some reason makes me choose Infosys after 7 months with Servion. An unforgettable 7 months!

Turn 3: Feb 23rd 2004: Infosys Technologies Ltd, Bangalore. I am here at corporate HQ and the only word I can utter - "Wow"! I am a little peeved though, that I have to go through orientation with lesser experienced folks because I have worked for less than a year. But it turns out to be two fun-filled months I will never forget. A week after being posted in Chennai, my hometown I get transferred to Mysore for some immediate requirement. The good thing is that I have company in a good friend from my training days. I settle in to the slow pace of Mysore. Seven months later I am slightly restless and I make it known to the "powers that be".

Turn 4: Jan 6th 2005: Infy Mysore I am informed that I need to leave for Silver Spring, MD in 10 days on a one year assignment. I arrive promptly on Jan 16th and get settled in. The next year is pretty busy. There are places to see, people to meet. Relationships to nurture :) After a fair share of uncertainity I prepare to leave around Feb 2006. Or so I thought! In a matter of hours I find myself retained for a different project. The ride goes on. Another six months go by.

Turn 5: Present Day: Silver Spring, MD I am almost set to leave in 15 days. After a lot of anticipation, my bubble is burst again. I have been asked to move to Dallas. It is not something I wasn't expecting. But the timing has caught me off guard. The ride will go on and so will I move away but its the emotional rollercoaster that I am having difficultly getting a hold on.

Should I even bother to plan ahead now, I wonder. Or should I just await the next turn...?

Just Like Heaven

It has been a while since I stopped by here. Well it is just that I have been in quite a daze and couldn’t get my thoughts in order. Actually I still am not quite out of it! The reason you ask…..? Is that I still can’t believe that in about 46 days or so I am likely to be home! Yeah home! “Home – where the heart is!” :)

In all of these last eighteen months that I have spent in the US, I have always somehow felt that I left my real life on ‘pause’ back home. Something akin to Adam Sandler in his recent movie ‘Click’. It might sound rather absurd because in reality in all of the three years that I have been working, [which I incidentally only completed this last Friday] only five months have actually been in my home town Chennai. Yet that physical distance that my current assignment put between me and my family and friends is something I have struggled to cope with, which is why I have often felt that I am just going through the motions both at the workplace and otherwise.

In a manner of speaking to add insult to injury, most of the books I have been reading and the movies that I have been watching recently seem to point towards the need for a greater appreciation of life as in spending more time with family and celebrating relationships. And here I am stuck with appreciating that thought but not having them to appreciate! Sometimes all that is interesting in the week is waiting for Saturday morning so I can have everyone at home to talk to at once. Listening to my Mom ramble about her week, my sisters fighting to break some exciting news to me first or at times disappointed at not having much to say, catching Dad in light-hearted moment or in his usual business-man like repertoire can make for my week’s most exciting hour or hours :)

Well the experience did help me enrich other relationships – like with my aunt and my cousins out here and also did help me find my Best Friend:). Yet just thinking of going back now has gotten my pulse racing. I am constantly thinking of all the sights. How places might have changed! And people too! All the stories I need to catch up on and all of Mom’s recipes to gorge on. After all, aren’t all the things that we normally take for granted which end up making life just like heaven!

On Eagles Wings

There have often been times when I went to church and felt that all the scripture readings were just picked out for me. I m sure many others have had similar feelings. In recent years, the hymns too have added much more meaning to the whole experience. Well not that the hyms themselves had changed over time but more that my appreciation for the service matured. Today was another day when a particular hymn stood out. The reason being that it was based on Psalm 91, one of my favourites and in fact the first Psalm I ever committed to memory thanks to my 9th grade Catechism teacher Mr.Peter. Well what really touched me was that going beyond Psalm 91 and Isaiah 40:31 was that it reminded me of my favourite verse in scripture from Isaiah 49

' 15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me. '

Could it be said more beautifully? It does'nt just help bring me back to church each week but to soar in faith :).

Well here are the lyrics courtesy HomewithGod.com

"On Eagles Wings" Written by Michael Joncas



You who dwell in the shelter of the Lord,
Who abide in His shadow for life,
Say to the Lord, "My Refuge,
My Rock in Whom I trust."

Refrain
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
The snare of the fowler will never capture you,
And famine will bring you no fear;
Under His Wings your refuge,
His faithfulness your shield.

Refrain
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
You need not fear the terror of the night,
Nor the arrow that flies by day,
Though thousands fall about you,
Near you it shall not come.

Refrain
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
For to His angels He's given a command,
To guard you in all of your ways,
Upon their hands they will bear you up,
Lest you dash your foot against a stone.

Refrain
And He will raise you up on eagle's wings,
Bear you on the breath of dawn,
Make you to shine like the sun,
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.
And hold you in the palm of His Hand.

Inside the room of your soul...

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget. You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. Your feet may be on the ground, but your head is in the clouds. You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you. Your near future is in a very different place (both physically and mentally) from where you are right now. For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

Inside the Room of Your Soul

I believe in Angels!

Yeah! Call me an old school Catholic boy if you will...but I just do! And I am not talking merely of the likes of Michael and Gabriel but everyday angels. Allow me to elaborate. Here are some of the angels I have been blessed with knowing and why I regard them so…

Mom & Dad head the list, beyond doubt! Two persons who have taught me pretty much everything I hold dear to my heart and make me the person I am. They are the ones who have shown by example how much a person can give of ones self and not want anything in return. It is them who have placed so much trust in me that I would die trying to honor that.

My Sisters: My younger sister epitomizes unconditional love for others. She is a person entirely incapable of hurting another person and her humility puts [even] me to shame! (oops… forgot that we were discussing humility :D) I know she will soon also stand out as an example for “hard work always pays off!” My youngest sister is the living and breathing affirmation that growing up has nothing to do with losing your innocence. I don’t think even she realizes this, but her zest for taking on life her way can be quite an inspiration to sit back and enjoy life once in a while. I say once in while because I for one can’t emulate her enough given how much of a worrier [I hide it well though – I think ;)] I can be!

And well there are several other friends who have supported me through various stages of my life [some devils thrown in too for good measure- Hey when you believe in angels you should acknowledge that there are devils too :)]. I can’t take all of their names now for the simple fact that I don’t want to overlook anyone. Each of them have made life worth living in their own right. But there is one particular person who simply stands out and is actually the reason for this very post.

When I left my family behind in India almost a year and a half ago, I did not quite realize the enormity of what I was getting into. You can say that I was distracted by all the excitement that came with the assignment. But no sooner had I settled in, it began to hit me hard. I mean here I was thousands of miles away separated from the people I loved the most and certain that I would have to stay that way for a period that would last for how long, I had not the faintest idea! And at just that perfect time I was blessed with another angel…

That I met an angel was certain because I am convinced that you don’t just meet random people who can be so nice. They are sent your way for a purpose! And so I have discovered too in this past year. One may have various forms of communication to bring you close to people near and far but nothing can compare with connecting to someone in person. My friend filled that void perfectly. Being there to listen to my ramblings and my rants, she never once complained; a trait I have taken undue advantage of. I firmly acknowledge that merely knowing her and observing her outlook on life has made me a better person. I am pleasantly surprised but completely accept the fact that our acquaintance has renewed my Faith enormously.

When its time to return home, eager as I may be to be rejoined with my family, it is with a heavy heart that I will leave behind my Best Friend yearning only that our paths may cross again soon. Before I forget I should mention that all people are not without their faults and my best friend’s is that she has made me set high standards for the person I will choose as my significant other! Ah…she ‘d better be an angel too! I must start praying now …:)